The Trouble with Chibis
by CloudTrueSoldier
Summary: Uhh, just read it...


The Trouble With Chibis  
  
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters descriptions in this story. I am mearly trying to promote some of my favorite shows and video games.  
  
"Heading mark 3-2-2-1.5 Warp Factor 7 Captain."  
  
"Thank you Mr. Sulu." Captain Kirk sat in his captain's chair looking at the view screen and watching as the stars flew by at indredible speeds. The ship, which looked like it came out of the sixties or something moved along through space, as if helped with a hand.  
  
"Sir, approaching Romulan warbird. They're decloaking and charging weapons sir!" Exclaimed The Guy That Always Got Killed.  
  
A photon torpedo hit with full force right as they raised their shields. The control panel that The Guy That Always Got Killed was sitting at exploded and killed him.  
  
"Damnit Scotty, get more power to the shields." Screamed Kirk over the roar of alarms.  
  
"She can't take anymore Capt'n. I need more power."  
  
"Captain, it appears that another Romulan warbird is decloaking off the port bow." The monotone voice came from the pointy eared man who sat looking into one of those things you take an eye test with.  
  
Another photon torpedo hit them. "Captain, our stabalizers have gone out!" Yelled Sulu.  
  
The great star ship began falling into the gravitational pull of the nearest planet as the warbirds continued to fire. Once they realized that the Enterprize was heading for the planet they broke off and returned to their bases.  
  
Some very fake looking explosions cluttered the bridge of the Enterprise. "Damage report!" Kirk yelled above the noise.  
  
"We're gonna crash!"  
  
"Oh darn." Cam a monotone voice.  
  
"Damnit you Vulcan's and you're emoshinlessness."  
  
"Actually Doctor we do have emotions, we are just exteremly well trained in suppressing and not responding to--"  
  
"Oh can it Mr. Vulcan."  
  
"Bones Sick bay is gonna be filling up pretty quick." The captain said to break up that argument. The doctor left the bridge and headed down the cardboard box with flashy lights that led to sick bay.  
  
Suddenly the ship crashed with sickening fakeness. "Oh darn." Came the voice again as he was thrown about the bridge along with the rest of the crew.  
  
The ship slowly slided to a stop, knocking over trees all the while. "Phew, we lived." Sulu suddenly said to break the silence.  
  
"Oh phew." The monotone voice of Mr. Spock again.  
  
"Damage report." The Captain ordered.  
  
"Sir, their seems to be life forms gathering outside the ship." Another Guy That Always Dies exclaimed.  
  
"Go out there and check it out." Kirk ordered.  
  
"Aye aye sir." Another Guy That Always Dies responded, beaming down. But right as he materialized he was attacked by some small creatures.  
  
The creatures had huge heads resting on small bodies, they stood about 2 and a half feet tall. One with spikey blond hair and a sword that shouldn't have been possible for him to lift was standing at Another Guy That Always Dies' feet.  
  
"Hey there little body." He said.  
  
"AIEIAIEAIAEIIEA CHIBI'S ATTACK!!!" He screamed drawing his sword and attacking the man along with some other Chibis.  
  
Back on the bridge; "Wow look at the one with a big head and big-"  
  
"Sulu, be quiet, I am analyzing their fighting techcnique." Kirk said, starring at the same one Sulu was.  
  
"The one that has the pole arm weapon tends to use an ample amount of vulgar language." Spock spoke up again.  
  
"How do you know that Mr. Spock?"  
  
"I can read lips captain."  
  
"Another one of your infinite talents." He muttered back.  
  
"The big black one also seems to use ample language. Would you like to know what they are saying?"  
  
"Well-"  
  
Spock cut him off. "The small, yet big black one is saying 'You d@mn mother f%$ker better git your b%#ch @ss back to your G#d D@mned mother f%$#ing piece of s#$t space ship!"  
  
"MR. SPOCK THAT IS ENOUGH!" The captain yelled to stop the vulcan.  
  
"I'm sorry sir, I will move to the blond one with the pole arm weapon. He says 'Gimme some G$d d@mned beer you g#d d@mned mother f@$king alien."  
  
"MR. SPOCK PLEASE STOP!"  
  
"The woman with long blond hair and big breasts is saying 'Die slut hoe whore house mother %$#ker!"  
  
"SPOCK SHUT THE HELL UP!!!"  
  
"Sorry sir, I got caried away. Such vulgar language for children."  
  
Back outside nothing remains of Another Guy That Always Dies. "CHIBIS CHIBIS CHIBIS CHIBIS!" The group chanted. Suddenly a red wolf like thing approached.  
  
"You chibis need to get back home, its getting late."  
  
"Ahh, but Mr. Red can we just stay up a little longer?" The Chibi-Cloud pleaded.  
  
"Absolutely not."  
  
"But, we just found a new playmate!" Pleaded the chibi yuffie.  
  
"Well, alright," He said, sprinkling some chibi dust on himself. "Let's CHIBERIZE!!!"  
  
The Chibis commenced to attack the ship with anything that they could.  
  
Chibi Sephiroth suddenly walks up. "Hullo all you chibiz."  
  
Chibi Cloud: "Hullo chibi-sephy-chan."   
  
Chibi Barret: "Didn't we kill him?"  
  
"Duh, when you become chibi you are automatically restored to life." Chibi aeris said walking onto the scene.  
  
Chibi Tifa: "So who sprinkled chibi dust on you guys?"  
  
Chibi Turks: "We didn't mean to."  
  
Chibi Cloud: "Where'd you guys come from?"  
  
Chibi Elena: "Guys?!"  
  
Chibi Cloud: "And gals..."  
  
"Chibi Elena: "Hojo brought us back to life." Points to Chibi Hojo who is playing with a rat.  
  
Chibi Hojo looks up. "Uhhh, Hello."  
  
Chibi Tifa: "Well where did YOU come from?"  
  
Chibi Hojo: "Uhh...Hell..."  
  
Chibi Cloud: "AWBWUABUWA. You said a bad word."  
  
Chibi Hojo sticks his tongue out at Cloud. Chibi Cloud flips him off.  
  
Meanwhile on the bridge of the enterprise Spock is again repeating what they are saying. Captain Kirk has put ear plugs in, as well as the rest of the bridge crew. Suddenly Dr. McCoy's voice comes over the intercome with and emergeny in sick bay. However, no one on the bridge can hear him except Spock, who decides to ignore him. After a few seconds Sick bay explodes in a huge ball of fire.  
  
Kirk: "what the hell?!"  
  
Spock: "It was nothing sir."  
  
Kirk puts ear plugs back in. "Ok then, carry on."  
  
Chibi Cloud: "So you sprinkled chibi dust over the entire world?"  
  
Chibi Hojo: "It was an accident..."  
  
Chibi Yuffie is playing with her pants.  
  
Chibi Tifa: "Gawd damnit just zip the damn things up slut!"  
  
Chibi Yuffie: "I'm not slut you god damned whore!"  
  
Chibi Tifa bitch slaps Yuffie. "Hoe!"  
  
"Slut!"  
  
"Whore!"  
  
"Bartender!"  
  
Chibi Tifa: "Oh damn...at least I don't leave my pants unzipped!"  
  
Chibi Yuffie: "At least I don't go running around in a sports bar with a skirt that barely hides my panties!"  
  
Chibi Aeris: "Good thing I'm not in this."  
  
Chibi Tifa: "Shut up slut!"  
  
Chibi Aeris: "I'm no slut! Look at you!"  
  
Chibi Tifa: "At least I don't have a stick!"  
  
Chibi Yuffie bursts out laughing, and begins to roll on the ground.  
  
Chibi Aeris: "Shut up! At least I don't have fake boobiez."  
  
Chibi Barret sits in the corner chanting "Jerry, Jerry, Jerry."  
  
Chibi Cid sits by Barret chanting as well.  
  
Chibi Tifa: "I don't have fake boobiez!" This causes Cloud to turn around.  
  
Chibi Cloud: "Did I hear boobiez!"  
  
Chibi Aeris: "Stay out of this pretty boy!"  
  
Chibi Cloud takes out his sword. "Don't call me a pretty boy "flower girl."  
  
Chibi Aeris: "What's that supposed to mean?!"  
  
Chibi Cloud: "You know perfectly well what it means.  
  
A look of confusion covers Aeris's face. "I do?"  
  
Chibi Tifa: "You were always such a ditz."  
  
Chibi Aeris: "Shut up slut!"  
  
Again back on the bridge Mr. Spock is still translating every word of the arguement. The bridge crew has gone insane and are now attacking one another while Spock calmly preforms the vulcan neck pinch on anyone that gets with in reach.  
  
Chibi Reeve suddenly appears on the scene. "Hey guys what's up?" Suddenly turns to see Aeris and Tifa bitch slaping each other. "Alright! Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!" Proceeds to sit by Barret and Cid.  
  
Suddenly Chibi Jerry Springer walks on. "Today on the Jerry Springer show, two friends turned chibi and also against each other? What tore these two les-" He's cut off by two very angry looking Chibis.  
  
Chibi Tifa punches him in the nose, he falls back, blood pouring out, as Chibi Aeris sticks her stick into his stomach.  
  
Chibi Barret, Cid, and Reeve sigh and go back to talking about who will win the Chibi Bowl on CBS (Chibi Broadcasting System).  
  
Chibi Cloud looks over at the sudden mention of "les". "Hey you two, is it true?"  
  
Chibi Tifa and Aeris turn red. "Is what true?"  
  
Chibi Cloud looks at them suspiciously. "But you both slept with me..."  
  
Chibi Tifa turns to Chibi Aeris. "YOu SLEPT WITH HIM?!?! BITCH!!" She slaps Aeris's already red cheek.  
  
Chibi Aeris: "YOU DID TOO!!" Slaps back.  
  
Spock stands on teh bridge all alone, still reciting the dialogue now over the intercome. The crew proceeds to go crazy and chaos insues all over the ship. Suddenly a compartment is accidently busted open. Chibi Barbra Strishand pops out. "What the hell!? What happened to my stunt double.  
  
Chibi director falls out as well. "Barbra, how many times to I have to tell you you don't need a stunt double."  
  
Chibi power rangers fall out of another compartment. "Morphin time!" The red one says.  
  
Chibi Green Ranger: "Hey I have a big head.  
  
Chibi Pink ranger: "Yea, but not a very big-"  
  
Chibi Green Ranger: "Hey, I thought we said we would never speak about that!!"  
  
Chibi Yellow Ranger: "Common guys we gotta stick together and learn some good morals or something."  
  
Chibi Blue Ranger takes out his weapon thing and manages to kill the yellow one.  
  
Chibi Red Ranger looks at the Chibi Blue Ranger and gives him two thumbs up.  
  
Chibi South Park characters begin to fall out of compartments as well. "Hey, what da Hell?!?! Nothing changed!!" Cartman yelled.  
  
"Ah $hit man, this sucks." Kyle said.  
  
Chibi Kenny: "Mpthkulthzuff."  
  
Chibi Cartman: "You said it Kenny!"  
  
Suddenly a stray phasor beam hits Kenny and he explodes.  
  
"You Bastard! You killed Kenny!" More stray phasor beams hit the remaining South Park cast.  
  
"Mr. Hat NOOO!!!"  
  
Chibi Dextor and other Cartoon Cartoon characters come out as well.  
  
Chibi Dextor: "Hey, this looks a lot like my lab."  
  
Chibi DeeDee: "Wheeeeeeee!!" She proceeds to destroy most of the working equipment around her.  
  
Chibi Chiken: "Hey, wat da heck is dis place!"  
  
Chibi Cow: "Hompff Mooooooo."  
  
Chibi Saturday Night LIve crew drops down.  
  
Chibi Kris Kattan as peepers: "Thmpth Thmpth." Eats an apple and begins spitting it at all the surrounding chibis.  
  
Chibi Will Farrel: "Hey, violence is bad." Takes out an axe and begins to murder the people around him.  
  
Chibi Colin Quinn: "Hey I'm back!"  
  
Chibi Jimmy Falon: "Hey you, get out of here."  
  
Chibi Tina Fey: "Yea, we do the weekend update now."  
  
Chibi Colin Quinn: "That's my word and I'm stickin to it."  
  
Chibi Adam Sandler and Chibi Chris Farely begin humping each other.  
  
Chibi Arnold Shwartzenager falls out from a compartment with a really big gun and shoots the entire SNL crew. "Dos, stupad little eemabaceeles. Day don't understand da power I have."  
  
Chibi Will Smith pops out with a huge @$$ MIB gun. He shoots Chibi Arnold in the middle of his speech.  
  
Chibi Keanu Reeves pops out with his Matrix guns and kills Will Smith. "Cheap @$$..."  
  
Chibi Scooby Doo gang appear. "Hey gang, where's the food?"  
  
Chibi Freddy: "Gooolly Shaggy, can't you think about anything but food?"  
  
Chibi Mr. T comes and kills the Scooby Doo gang. "Gosh dang jibba jabbin foos makin me look bad. I pity da foo-" Keanu shoots Mr. T as well.  
  
Chibi George W. Bush: "Strategery concludisionaried that assomatic move. It was pure compassionitivity." Chibi Bill Clinton bonks him on the head with a Chibi Mallet.  
  
Chibi Bill: "I did not have chibi affairs with that woman!" Points to his wife.  
  
Chibi Mrs. Bill Clinton: "Damn straight you didn't  
  
Chibi Jeb Bush: "I did."  
  
Chibi Bill begins to laugh: "You poor fool."  
  
Chibi Al Gore comes and begins to count in ballots. After a few minutes finishes. "Damn, I lost again." Starts over and begins counting from one.  
  
Chibi George W. Bush. "Heea heea heea. I told ya I would win."  
  
Chibi Chinese president guy: "Howang sucha ditcha muska."  
  
Chibi Chad Muska: "Hey you stupid little chinese fagot, don't be talking about me like that."  
  
Chibi Jamie Thomas: "I can't ollie with this huge head."  
  
Chibi Tony Hawk ollies extremely high.  
  
Chibi Jamie Thomas: "You're just an air head."  
  
Chibi Tony Hawk floats off into the distance.  
  
Chibi Jim Carrey appears. "Some body stop me!" Chibi Keauna shoots him.  
  
Chibi Jim Carrey catches the bullet after he puts the Mask on. "close, but no cigar." Sticks a cigar in everyone's mouth and runs away laughing like a maniac.  
  
Chibi Author appears: "Hey guys, can we slow it down here a bit? I'm having trouble typing fast enough to-" Is landed on by Chibi Tony Hawk.  
  
Chibi Tony Hawk: "Whoa that was some major air."  
  
Chibi Jamie Thomas: "Shut up air head."  
  
Chibi Jay Leno appears: "Holy cows!" Points to cows with lots of holes.  
  
Chibi Jamie Thomas: "Holy huge chins!"  
  
Chibi Jay Leno: "Whoa, my chin is even bigger than normal."  
  
Chibi George W. Bush: "Hey, you're that one funny guy I saw on TV last night." Laughs. "I was up past my bed time." Laughs some more.  
  
Chibi Jay Leno: "Uhhh yea, you musta not gotten the George W. jokes...  
  
Chibi George W. begins to laugh some more: "All I have to say is don't mess with Texas."  
  
Chibi Al Gore: "Now Mr. Bush, I never messed with Texas and you still seem to think I did. How is it possible to make you see I didn't mess with Texas.  
  
Chibi BIll Clinton: "Sorry, it was me, I messed with Texas.  
  
Chibi George W.: "You're a big meany." Sticks his tongue out at Bill.  
  
Chibi Bill Clinton: "Hey are you gonna be using that tongue on me?"  
  
Chibi Mrs. Clinton: "Bill I knew you cheated, but on GUYS?!?!"  
  
Chibi Bill chuckles: "Darlin, take a look at Georgy over there and tell me if you think he is a guy." Chibi Mrs. Clinton looks over and burst into laughter.  
  
Chibi NBA players begin appearing.  
  
Chibi Shaq: "Holy cow, I'm short!"  
  
Chibi Mugsey Bouges: "You're short?! Look at me?!?"  
  
Chibi Shaq looks down, loses his balance and falls over.   
  
After many hours the chibis all lay dead due to lack of food.  
  
The chibis outside finally set a bomb on the ship and run away, laughing. The ship blew up and the first chibi adventure was over.  
  
  
---Author's notes---  
  
Yes this story is insanely messed up.   
  
Yes I belong in a mental assylum.  
  
Yes I will be writing more.  
  
Well here it is! The very first Chibi fic written by me! Please R&R! I would like to hear what everyone thinks!! 


End file.
